Rabbit anyone?

Ange and I went to Harmony on Oxford St last night to see if I could find anything naughty to take with me to LA, and OMG I was surprised to see how much there was on offer.

I have never owned a vibrator so I thought maybe I could try one out, but what to choose?!

There was such a huge variety on the shelves, there was of course the widely popular (pink) Rampant Rabbit, and other ordinary looking ones. But there were also really big ones, one with TWO rabbits on them. My eyes nearly popped out when I saw them out of shock, I didn’t realise there were women out there who liked HUGE ones. 

The big one with 2 rabbits

The one that looked the most interesting to me was the sonic disco one with different vibrating levels, it even had pearls in it. But I just couldn’t bring myself to buy one, I’m too innocent I guess, or I just like it natural.

 

Not so innocent that I bought a few naughty goodies though ;o)

Are things going too fast?

So the last few weeks have been a bit of a roller coaster ride, one minute I’m thinking, I can’t wait to get married and settle down, the next I’m having doubts.

Maybe it’s just because I’m wondering if I’d ever be able to live a life of a married woman. None of my relationships have even reached 3 years, my first marriage broke down in a year, but we wont count that one as I was young and foolish. I haven’t even lived with anyone else but my son in over 10 years, I like my space, I like my freedom.

What will happen if I end up living with this guy when I get over to LA full time?

Will I mess it up because I just don’t know how to live harmoniously with a partner? Because I’ve been doing great at being mean lately!

A million things are going through my head right now, when what I’ve been wanting is within my grasp I can almost touch it, I’m now thinking is it really what I want?

What am I afraid of? Am I afraid of losing my freedom? or am I afraid of ruining things because I’ve never done it before? or am I afraid of losing myself, losing control, for a moment of happiness?

We have been talking about marriage a lot lately, both of us are ready to settle down and we love each other but I want to do it properly, I want to be courted, I don’t believe in living together before marriage, I’m an old romantic. My perfect scenario would be to move over there, have my own place, live and learn about my surroundings on my own, make new friends, have fun in a new country, be courted by the one I love, be proposed to then get married and move in.

But that’s my ideal scenario, and nothing works out the way people plan, I should know, I’m a Project Manager. Maybe that’s it, I am so used to being in control that I’m afraid of things not going the way ‘I’ planned.

I’ve been afraid more recently of losing control because we have even talked about eloping, more as a joke than anything. But imagine if I went over there for thanksgiving and came back a married woman… I’d always wondered what it’d be like if Elvis married me and my other half. Now that’s a possibility that will not fit into my plans, or would it?

Uhhuh

Lunch at Tiffany’s?

Seems everyone is getting engaged these days… Part of me wants to too as I’m nearing my 30s.

I imagine being asked to share my life with someone in a special way, a memorable way, a creative unique way, something only I would experience. I’d want to be asked where we first kissed during a beautiful sunset, but I’d want to be surprised.

I don’t usually do this, dream of a ring and being asked. But when I got talking to a friend of mine who was helping her mate plan how he’d pop the question and he’d gone to Hatton Gardens to buy the ring she chose, it got me thinking. What ring would I want to wear for the rest of my life?

This one is could be the one http://uk.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.aspx?GroupSKU=GRP10015#f+0/0/0/0/0/0

Or this one http://uk.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.aspx?GroupSKU=GRP10003#f+0/0/0/0/0/0

Or even this one http://uk.tiffany.com/Engagement/Item.aspx?GroupSKU=GRP10008#f+8/0/0/0/0/0

I’d really have to try them on to know. All priced under £8,000 (cheaper in dollars), they aren’t Tiffany & Co’s most expensive engagement rings, but either one would definitely get a yes from me. And I’m not a material girl. Although I’d probably be too afraid to wear the ring outside and would seriously think about getting a cheap duplicate made for everyday wear.

So what would your perfect scenario and ring be? Do you dare dream of it?

Next stop, LA

Tomorrow is his 30^th, and I’m feeling hugely down, if this means so much to me, why aren’t I there?

Would it be mad if I booked my ticket, got last minute leave from work, sorted babysitter and gone to LA to be with him on his birthday?

Maybe a bit too spontaneous but let me check how much a last minute ticket would cost… £459 and I could be there by 6.45pm tomorrow. Hmmmm… just in time for his night out. It’s not much in the name of love.

By 5pm, my babysitter was sorted, my leave booked and my ticket purchased. I was going to LA in less than 24 hours and I still had loads to do, pack, shave, and sort the little one out… SHAVE! Handover work, make sure I’d packed my best lingerie and shave EVERYWHERE!

This time I packed light as I was only going for 4 days… I’m so excited to see him! I haven’t seen him in over 2 months; BBM sex was nice enough but nothing like the real thing. It feels like I’m a virgin again!

I packed, checked I had everything, had my passport, shaved everywhere but my legs as I’d run out of time. I’d have to remedy that on the plane I think. Got to the airport on time, no drama this time and boarded the plane and got knocked out as soon as my head hit the head rest.

I dreamt of walking along the beach, holding his hand and watching the sunset near our sacred place, the lifeguard tower. He whispered in my ear “I love you” and something else I couldn’t quite make out, something about landing, “Landing baby? What’s landing?”

I jolted up, woken up by the Pilots’ announcement; we were on schedule and due to land soon and hoped we had a pleasant journey. SHIT, we were landing in an hour and I hadn’t shaved my legs and wouldn’t have time to go to his and do it. So I got up, grabbed my toiletry bag and headed for the toilets.

Only there was a long queue, of people needing the loo. Of course there was because everyone left it till the last minute to empty their bladders, either because they wanted to watch the end of that movie or they were too polite and didn’t want to wake the stranger sleeping next to them, I fit into the latter category.

Willing for everyone to hurry up before we started to descend, I counted each of them down. Slowly, 11 became 10, 10 became 9… number 7 took at least 5 minutes, number 5 was a large woman, took some work for her to close the door behind her, oh good god hope she manages to hurry up. 4 and 3 were mother and child so went in one loo together. Number 1 was a sweet elderly lady I got chatting to about my big romantic story… she left me imagining how I’d be in his arms again very soon. “Excuse me…” oh, it was my turn next.

I realised I had to hurry as the queue was still long and there were only 3 toilets. I quickly freshened up, put on some makeup then I got out my razor and shaving foam, put the toilet seat down, sat down and started shaving, being careful not to cut myself. The seatbelt sign came on, damn I had only done one leg, I frantically shaved the other one, getting shaving foam everywhere, wiped myself down (and the cupboard I got dirty) and went back to my seat.

The flight landed as scheduled, 6.45pm on the dot. OMG I was so excited to see him again, this is the most spontaneous romantic thing I’ve ever done and it felt amazing! So what it cost me nearly half a grand? It was cheaper than in the summer, cheaper than a whole month of going out, AND I really needed this.

He was waiting for me at the same spot he did the last time he picked me up, with a rose. Where did he find time to do that? Oh god I love him!

He had a huge grin on his face, I ran up to him and threw myself on him, he lifted me up and kissed me so hard. “Honey, it’s so great to see you! You’re CRAZY for doing this, I love you so much.”

And with that we went to his party.

Well… That’s how I imagined it would be if I actually did act on my impulse. But the truth is, when we talked about it, it wasn’t practical to spend so much cash on 4 days of actually being there, he had work, he had his packed weekend, and we wouldn’t have had any quality time together. So, I went out to celebrate his 30^th without him in London. Hopefully I’ll see him soon though.

Last minute dash to get there?

I’m thinking if I should just catch the next flight to LA to get there for his Birthday. I haven’t packed yet but I can still make it. Wouldn’t it be super romantic if I did?

Just arrive unplanned, spend his birthday weekend with him, spend a few extra days in his arms and come home…

How the other half lives

The flight to LA was 11.5 hours, I couldn’t wait to land and be in his arms again.

It took me an entire evening to figure out what I was going to wear to see him after I landed. I was going to just wear comfy leggings, tunic and cardi with white plimsoles from Zara, that was until my friend Kim asked what I was wearing. “Aren’t you going to make an effort? if he’s picking you up after work, he’ll be wearing a suit, so it means you’ll have to at least match him” I didn’t think of that.

So I pulled out all my lovely clothes I was taking with me, I had party and evening dresses, they were too fancy for the plane so I rooted through my cupboard and found a knee length black flouncy skirt, and teamed that up with a lacy pink vest. “Should I wear fishnets? or is that going to be too sexy?”

“Never too sexy for a guy honey, you can pop those on after you land.” said Kim

So I did, my cunning plan: wear the skirt and top, thick tights and flat pumps, then as soon as I land, I’d put on my fishnets and heels then collect my luggage. Then there’d be enough time for the luggage to be dropped to the carousel and I can meet him all freshened up. And yes, it did go according to plan for once… although the flight was delayed by an hour.

I walked out with my luggage trolley and scanned the airport for him, and sure enough there he was, at the front, holding a single rose. I walked up to him, with a big smile on my face, butterflies in my belly and legs trembling from nervousness. Thank goodness I had the trolley to support me. I flung my arms around him and leant in to kiss him, his lips were quivering, so he was just as nervous as me. I pressed my lips on his, the kiss seemed to last for hours and it felt like only we were in the room, then we realised we were being watched and gathered ourselves feeling a little embarrassed, we walked all the way to the car, holding hands and people watching me with my lovely rose. The last time he gave me one was when I last left him to go home, and everyone at the airport was calling me the flower girl, I didn’t care, I loved this kind of attention, knowing that I was being loved.

When we got to the car, he put my luggage into the boot of the car, or the trunk as the Americans like to call it. Like a true gentleman, he opened the front door and there, on the seat were a bunch of the most beautiful roses I’d ever seen, not 11 but 15 more roses, waiting for me, and they weren’t just any roses, they were Ecuadorian roses. I hadn’t been given flowers in such a long time, I’d forgotten how they made me feel. I felt undeserved of all this spoiling, and I’d only just got here.

We made small talk all the way to his apartment, knowing full well that we wanted to lay into each other. I just wanted to climb over the hand brake and gear box and kiss him with all the passion that had been brewing since I last saw him. Although I said I’d wait, I convinced myself in London that it was OK to have what I wanted, which was to make love to the one I loved. I’d been prepared too, shaved my legs that hadn’t seen a razor since my last relationship, my under arms and I got a Hollywood, so I was virtually body-hair free. Someone was going to get lucky tonight!

And we did get lucky, more than once

Missing Out

Its his 30th this week and I can’t be there to share the moment with him, I was fine and had accepted it until 3 days before his birthday, I realised that my friends are going to be there, everyones going to be there but me. He says he would trade everyone in for me, but the reality is he can’t because we’re thousands of miles away.

It hurts so much when you love someone and you can’t share their special moments, I feel excluded! He’s meant to be here with me, I was hoping he’d come here around his birthday but he couldn’t because of work. So does that mean I should blame his work for making me feel like this? What if I end up resenting his job because it always comes between us?

I’m now thinking whether I am cut out for this long distance relationship malarkey, right now I feel I can’t handle the sadness that goes with it, because the happy bits are short lived.

Maybe I should let the guy I think is the ‘one’ go, because its just too hard… Or will that be taking the easy way out?

Shoe Fail

A girl can’t have too many shoes, and I hadn’t treated myself to shoes for a very long time. This is what I used to justify buying 4 pairs of shoes this weekend anyway, except I made the ultimate shopping error and picked up shoes for 2 right feet and they were both different sizes too. I only realised when I went to wear them yesterday, I was so bummed! Massive Shoe FAIL!

So I’m off to return them, damn, really wanted those shoes too (

How to peel a banana

This is genius, why didn’t I think of this before?

Dramas

Planning a holiday with me is always a drama…

1. I have strict budgets
2. I like to keep everyone happy as well as myself, having friends all over the shop doesn’t help, if I go to the States, I HAVE to see as many of them as possible (LA, NYC etc), and if I go to Oz then I may as well see my friends in Brisbane, Mackay, Melbourne and Sydney. If I go to the middle east or Asia and dont see my family, then I’d be in trouble and if I go to the far east, I may as well see my friends in China.
3. I try and make the most of any time I have when I have a babysitter whilst I’m travelling, by squeezing in as much as possible for as little as possible
4. I need to make the most of the time I have off work

If you’ve tried to plan a trip with me then you know exactly how hard it is to book anything with me, remember the Spain trip that never happened last year because of budgets?

Oh and the New York trip wasn’t planned very smoothly, although I did get to do NYC AND LA in 6 days, for £564 (flights and accommodation), it was exhausting. Not to mention the drama with my passport, it had expired and I realised only 2 days before I had to fly out. I know I didn’t tell any of you this, I got my passport done the day before I flew out, and managed to get the visa sorted on the same day (even though this should have been done a week before departure).

I sat down to apply for my Visa at 5.30pm 2 days before my flight was due to depart, I took out my passport to add the passport number to the online Visa Waiver form. When I got to typing the expiry date, to my horror it had already expired a month ago. “FUCK” I screamed, I was slowly getting hotter and hotter, sweating nervously I called the passport office at 5.50pm to figure out my options, they said I had to do it the following day and the only available appointment was 7 am.

I had to be at a trade show held at Earls Court for work from 9, and the Passport office was at Victoria, so that can be done I thought. I asked if I could complete the application form there, they said I had to have it ready for my appointment. Could I download it? No! I had to either get it from the Passport office or a post office. The Post office was closing in 5 mins and there was no way I was going to get there in time. But the Passport office was open until 7 pm, I thought for a minute, there is no way I can do it on the day I fly, as we have to check in by 1.30 and I’d have to wait 4 hours for the passport, I couldn’t risk it, it would be cutting it too fine. I quickly checked how long it’d take me to get to the office on the TFL website, it said 45mins door to door. Oh shit, I needed pictures… I hoped there was a machine somewhere!

I got there 5 mins before the office was due to close. Talk about cutting it fine!

I saw a Photo machine as I walked to the office, so after I got my form, I took my pictures at the station. Luckily I had SOME make-up on, if I had any time at all, I would have caked my face with the stuff for a picture I have to live with for 10 bloody years. Looking at the pictures on the screen, I retook it 3 times and had to go for the last one, because that was my last try. Oh well, it’d have to do!

And that’s not all, oh no!

I made it to the airport on time (PHEW), but I had to wait for my friend… Trish. Who was always late for everything. We only JUST checked in on time, check-in was about to close. We had to change some money, and we lost track of time whilst deciding how much to change due to the exchange rate being so rubbish ($1.28 to a pound!). We realised we had less than 5 minutes to get to our gate!

We had to queue for security, getting our bags and shoes through the X-ray machine seemed to take forever, I grabbed my things as soon as they got through. I looked at my phone and we had already lost 3 minutes. Oh no, I don’t want to miss my flight! Once Trish had her things, I quickly scanned the screen for our gate number and ran as fast as I could towards Gate 28, which is at least 15 minutes walk from security I might add. We had to get through another passport check before getting to the actual gate, and they were waiting for us! I looked back and Trish was walking to the gate, WALKING! Patience, you’ve made it now, I kept telling myself only with Trish I chuckled. I’m just glad we weren’t the only ones, and we didn’t actually delay the flight. That was the first time I came close.

When we got on the plane, we realised they gave us seperate seats, so I moved closer to Trish after the plane took off. There was an empty seat next to a Rabbi behind Trish, so I took it. Half way through watching He’s just not that into you, the Rabbi moved, I think it might have been one of the many raunchy scenes that pissed him off, oops. But now there was an empty seat next to me for Trish…

That trip did have a happy ending, I ended up having my unexpected romance in LA, all that drama was worth it in the end

The most recent drama is due to this revisit to LA,

If I come to LA with the lil one, I won’t have anyone to babysit for me which will mean we wont have much time alone, so I’ve decided not to bring him and take him somewhere else for a proper quality family holiday after I get back.

The problem is I will only be able to come to LA for a week, because I have to take some time off for the second holiday with him, which will probably only leave me with a few days for the rest of the year.

It’s either that, or we stick to the original plan and we don’t get much alone time…

I emailed Mr America, and naturally he was OK with that. He is a man after all, not that I’m planning to give in to temptation or anything, but he can try an make me

It’s the story of my life, full of dramas, lets just hope it has a happy ending.

Come back soon to find out…